


Serenading In The Trenches

by rainbowpandas



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Hinted Flashbacks/PTSD, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Light Angst, M/M, Mentioned Alastor (Hazbin Hotel) - Freeform, Mentioned Valentino (Hazbin Hotel), Mutual Pining, Or as slow burn as you're ever gonna get from me lol, References to the Angel Dust prequel comic, Slow Burn, Time Skips, Who wants to talk about feelings?, acquaintences to friends to lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:00:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26557762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowpandas/pseuds/rainbowpandas
Summary: Husk and Angel are different sides of the same coin. Both addicts, both bound to some powerful demon who could screw them over in a second, both with wounded hearts and walls built high around them. In the trenches of the small battles they both fight every day, they find understanding...and, maybe, a little something more.
Relationships: Angel Dust/Husk (Hazbin Hotel)
Comments: 25
Kudos: 129





	Serenading In The Trenches

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this to celebrate reaching 300 followers on Twitter! Thank you all for your support and for laughing/ geeking out/ creating/ memeing with me!
> 
> This fic was inspired by (and titled after) the song Serenading in the Trenches by Sondre Lerche. Give it a listen if you wanna understand all of my feelings XD (link below)
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cVb-AXYptg

Husk watched Angel Dust wipe something from his lip as he walked through the lobby of the Happy Hotel toward the bar. He was roughed up -not the messiest Husk had seen him in the past 3 weeks he’d been working at the hotel- but he was definitely worse for wear. His posture was slouched and there was blood splatter on his clothes. The lanky arachnid slumped onto a bar stool and shot Husker a weak yet still cocky grin. 

“Evenin’ pussycat~ I’m gonna need a double of somethin’ sweet an’ strong,” Angel waved a hand in the direction of the liquor bottles lining the shelves behind the cat. “Don’t care what it is as long as it puts some hair on my chest.” using his bottom set of hands, the spider demon fluffed up his cleavage and bit his lip suggestively. His flirtatious actions were no surprise but they didn’t match how tired he looked. 

After several interactions with him, Husk was beginning to realize that Angel used his come-ons like a shield, to make sure people only saw the sparkling persona and not what was hidden underneath. Not that Husk cared much...but it did make the teases more bearable and less annoying. After all, the old man understood putting up a barrier to keep people at a distance. 

“Sure thing, kid.” Husk mustered a curt reply as he stood and grabbed a bottle from the mid-shelf, pouring a decent amount into a lowball glass. Sliding the drink toward Angel, he was oddly pulled from his apathetic default and tempted to put on the classic “bartender therapist” hat. He usually wasn’t one to pry into other people’s business (especially big personality-ed people like Angel Dust) but he couldn’t help but notice the late nights and the different states of disarray the younger demon came home in. It... bothered him, somehow. He watched as Angel took a gulp of liquor, wincing as it went down; he noticed that crack in his armor and, for a second, saw himself in the spider's soft pink face. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but against his better judgement, Husk felt called to ask. 

“So... the fuck happened here?” gesturing to Angel’s bloodied jacket with a claw, Husk tried to sound aloof-or at least casual. 

Angel raised his brows over the rim of his glass. He was surprised Husk was asking about his night; usually Angel blabbed at the cat demon until he chose to either pick up the convo or drown him out. This was new. 

“Eh, it’s no biggie. Just payin’ some dues is all.” Angel paused to light a cigarette, giving Husker a once over to see if he actually gave a shit about what he had been through. The older demon seemed earnest enough, so Angel continued. “I was an idiot several weeks back, thought I could handle a job fo’ Big Vee ta get on his good side. It backfired. Now he has me filmin’ twice as much an’ runnin’ dumb jobs for him with shitty back alley drug dealers. Said ‘If ya think you can handle my affairs, Angel baby, then I’ll let ya handle my affairs.’” the spider put on a deep, mocking voice when he emulated his boss and then took a drag off his smoke. “Pompous-ass fuck....” 

Husk snorted at Angel’s impression of Hell’s most infamous pimp. He hadn’t crossed paths with Valentino personally but Husker had spent enough time working for Alastor in Pentagram City that he knew bits and pieces about all the overlords. It was a bit funny hearing Angel talk about such a powerful, feared demon like he was just a crappy coworker. 

“Yeah, he seems like a piece of shit.” Husk poured himself a drink and reached over to top off the spider’s glass. “So, the blood yours or some fuckin’ back alley drug dealer’s?” 

“Well, well, ain’t you full of questions tonight, Husky!” a smug grin spread across Angel’s face. Husk scowled at the comment but Angel kept talking before he could backtrack or argue. “This belongs ta some punk-ass gorilla demon who thought he could get handsy wit’ me and then try ta screw me outta the money he owed Val. He gave me a left hook an' I gave him a few bullets. An' now his pals know not ta fuck wit’ me next time.” 

“Clearly,” Husk arched a brow, amused at the way Angel Dust told his story. 

“I’m just lucky he didn’t damage the merchandise,” gesturing to his form and then rubbing his cheek, Angel let out a chuckle with some bitterness behind it. “‘Sides fo' some blood in my mouth, that is. If my face got fucked up, Val woulda been PISSED. I got a big shoot tomorra an’ he says I look cheap when I gotta use makeup thick enough ta cover bruises.” Angel was staring down into the depths of his glass, more talking to himself than the man in front of him. He was whisked away from the present, lost in a dark memory. 

Half a second later he blinked his eyes back to reality, shaking his head to clear out the flashbacks, and took a small baggie of white powder from his pocket. A line would help. It always did. 

“Ya mind if I..?” Angel shook the baggie between two fingers in Husk’s direction and plastered his classic ‘smile with lidded eyes’ expression on his face. 

Husk had watched Angel’s mask fall when he was staring at his drink, saw how he had sunken into a horrible echo from the past. He’d been in that place himself, but it was almost surreal seeing Angel there, getting a flash of the person behind the sultry spider image. Husker didn’t know if he wanted to see more of who Angel was behind the ego-driven façade or if he wanted to take off the “therapist” hat and kick the arachnid from his bar. It was an internal conflict he didn’t know what to do with, one that made his mouth dry. He pushed the thoughts back and decided to handle what he could in this situation. 

“Fuck no! Not at my goddamn bar. If Princess or Vaggie or, Satan fuckin’ forbid, that son of a bitch Alastor, see a speck of white powder on this counter I’ll be ripped a fuckin’ new one. I ain’t stickin’ my neck out for you like that. You have your ass-hole that you report to, and I have mine.” the older demon slammed the rest of his glass and then reached for a bottle, imaging the bullshit Al would put him through if he let Angel snort anything off the bar. 

Still, the hypocrisy of indulging in his vice while rejecting Angel Dust’s wasn’t lost on him. He swallowed a gulp of bourbon and hesitantly mumbled “But....I won’t tell’em ya have that shit. It’s not my fuckin business and I’m not a fuckin’ narc.” 

Angel clenched the dime bag in his fist and propped his cheek on his knuckles, leaning in towards Husk. Normally Husker would have told him to shut up and fuck off, but now….? He could have sworn Husk was almost being nice to him. Still, he didn’t want to push his luck and tease the cat about it; he was probably just commiserating over the fact they both had a higher up. Angel had seen how Husk and Al worked together and knew that, at the very least, Husk understood the need for a coping vice... that was good enough for him. 

“Can’t argue wit’ that.” Angel’s gold tooth glinted as he downed the rest of his drink, his smile softening a bit. “These powerful bastards of ours have a way of takin’ all the fun outta things, don’t they, Husky? But a contract is a contract an’ we gotta answer to’em. Even if it fuckin’ sucks.” that look of remembering flitted behind Angel’s eyes again, but this time he let it happen. He chose to give Husk another glimpse past the barriers he had built around himself. It was a show of faith in a way. A nod of respect, if nothing else. 

“Yeah....I...uh...I relate to that.” Husker exhaled, looking Angel Dust right in the eye. He gave Angel a gentle smirk in silent acknowledgment, then quickly hid behind a sip of liquor. 

The spider smirked back, glanced at Husk’s half empty bottle and then looked at the drugs in his own hand. 

“I had a feelin’ ya did,” he murmured, then stood and turned to the stairs. Before he got too far, he turned over his shoulder and winked at Husk with a wave. “G’night, Husky. Thanks... fo’ the drink.” 

And with that Angel made his way up the stairs to dip into in some of his namesake, in hopes he could drown out the inner demons for the rest of the night. 

Husk watched him go, surprised at that fleeting moment of camaraderie between them. Not an awkward moment but one that he wasn’t sure how to process. Of all the demons in Hell, he figured Angel would be one of the least trust-worthy, yet they had both felt…safe enough?... to pull back their own curtains an inch. To show they might have a bit in common. He went through the motions of washing Angel’s glass as he let the exchange sink in. There was definitely more to this kid than Husk had originally thought. 

\--------------------------------------- 

A few weeks went by. The late-night one-on-ones became more regular, but whether it was by coincidence or by choice neither demon could say. They were getting used to each other’s company and, seemingly, even enjoying it. Not that either of them would ever admit to that genuinely, of course (though Angel did still savor sending flirtations Husk’s way about them having ‘fun’ together). Despite the mutual enjoyment, they still stayed an arm's length apart. Husk and Angel Dust both had masks to keep on and walls to keep up; it was too risky to let anyone in past a certain point. 

Still, more similarities were found between them; Angel found out Husk spoke Italian, they bonded over loving Ella Fitzgerald’s _It’s Only a Paper Moon,_ they shared anecdotes bitching about their respective overlords and found amusement in Charlie’s efforts to get them into Heaven. Neither divulged anything too personal or sincere, but they were undeniably bordering on friendly. 

Angel was glad that he had someone at the hotel that didn’t talk to him like he was fragile, broken or a waste of space...plus Husk was pretty damn attractive and a little eye-candy never hurt anyone. Meanwhile, Husk was appreciative for a person who genuinely distracted him. Angel may have been a dick 75% of the time but it was easier to forget there was a bottle in Husk’s paw when the spider was around. 

They were currently sharing a smoke on one of the many balconies of the Happy Hotel, looking out at Pentagram City’s deep red evening sky. Husk was sitting on a beat-up chair while Angel was venting about Val sending him on yet another drug deal, scheduled for later in the evening. 

“I fuckin’ swear, I keep getting' more an’ more outnumbered. I can take a lotta idiot mobsta’s on my own but I know this gang. They’re a pretty hefty crew an’ I dunno if I can handle them mano-y-mano. If they get cocky, my ass is grass....an’ not in the fun way.” Angel laughed, taking a long pull from his cigarette and then sighed, rubbing between his eyes with two fingers. “Ugh! I wish Val would lemme have some backup, dammit!” 

Husker gave Angel a surveying look, puffing on his own smoke. He knew the spider could handle himself, but if he was actually stressing about dealing with a job solo, then there was probably some weight behind the worry. 

“Where’s the meet-up at?” there was an inquisitiveness in Husk’s voice that was unlike his normal perfunctory tone. 

Angel leaned his butt against the railing and grinned at the gruff cat next to him. “5 blocks over in neutral territory. Why? Wanna be my date?” 

Husk rolled his eyes as he finished his cigarette and tossed it on the ground, crushing the butt beneath his heel. He blew out the smoke in Angel’s direction. 

“I’ll be yer fuckin’ backup if you want it – and if you stop makin’ shit jokes.” 

Angel looked skeptical as he held back a snort, “Pfffttt! Husky, not ta be a bitch, but....uh...do ya even know what yer doin’ in a brawl? Ya can’t exactly ‘grumpy cat’ these fucka’s ta death, babe.” Angel gave a teasing, condescending smile to the older man. “I can give ya a quick lesson of shit I learned from the ole family business, if ya want~” 

Husker shot Angel Dust an unamused look, furrowing his long brows. 

“Don’t fuckin’ patronize me, kid. I served in Vietnam. And after that shit, I served Alastor. I know how to take care of myself in a fuckin’ fight, whether it’s fair or not.” he punctuated his sentence by tensing his fingers, accentuating his long, pointed claws. 

Angel’s brows went to his forehead. This was this first time Husk had divulged anything serious about his life on top. He was surprised but, honestly, it made sense that the old man had some military training. And Angel trusted him more than most to have his back. The arachnid let the information sink in... was it weird that he felt kinda special that Husk chose to share a bit of his past with _him_? 

Checking the time on his phone, Angel gave a Husk a nod. “Hmmm, well okay then, kitty cat. Let’s roll.” 

They made their way down the hotel stairs, passing Niffty with a wave, and stopping by Angel’s room to grab a briefcase full of money, as well as his small arsenal of guns. Thankfully the three head honchos of the Happy Hotel were busy with some managerial nonsense so the two demons were able to slip out the door unnoticed. 

Angel walked the 5 blocks self-assuredly, Husk following behind. There was silence between them, but it was the comfortable kind. They stopped at a door of some restaurant, half boarded up, as Angel Dust placed his hat on head and turned to Husker. 

“Follow my lead. We’re only pickin’ up a few kilos of coke so it should be in an’ out.” Angel internally fluffed his confidence. In the back of his mind he found himself wanting to show Husk that he was more than just some expensive sex machine, that he could handle himself. 

Husk nodded and followed the arachnid into the abandoned building, coming face to face with more than a dozen Iguana demons. The deal went how the cat assumed most deals went; tension, short words, checking product quality, counting money, the whole spiel. As Angel inspected the packages of cocaine, seeming to be wrapping up, Husk noticed one of the gang members inching towards the door. His wings twitched, ready to spring into action in case someone tried to pull something funny. 

“Hey! There’s one fuckin’ missing!” Angel snapped at the leader of the gang, a tall lizard man with beady eyes and cool demeanor. Two spider eyes shot up and saw the lacky trying to sneak away, kilo in hand. He couldn’t believe some little cold-blooded shit was trying to make off with Val’s product right in front of him. Three gloved hands pulled out pistols at the same moment that Husk leapt through the air, blocking the exit with his extended wings. His claws were out, ready to slice if the iguana took a step closer. 

Husker looked past the startled lizard, giving Angel a smirk as the guns raised at their target. The older demon watched as Hell’s favorite porn star grinned, red gloved fingers pulling the triggers of the pistols pointed at the isolated gangster. Husk stared at Angel; his pink sclera almost glowing as he emptied a clip into the lizard. The two Happy Hotel residents locked eyes and the spider gave a wink. Suddenly Husk felt on top of the world. 

He felt something churn in the pit of his stomach- like a little leap right before a rollercoaster drop. His face felt hot for a moment but he was shaken from his thoughts as a body collapsed before him, snapping him back to the present situation. 

Angel turned to the rest of the gang, a hand on his hip, feeling proud of the teamwork that he and Husk just displayed. He hadn’t had combat chemistry like that with anyone, except Cherri. 

“Anyone gotta problem wit’ that?” his smile was saccharin confidence as he gave a giggle. He knew none of the others would argue. That outlier acted on his own and Angel practically did them a favor by taking him out. The gang members shook their heads. 

Husk watched as Angel gathered the drugs with a grace he hadn’t noticed before. Maybe it was the adrenaline of being ready to fight or maybe it was because he was sobering up a bit, but Husk’s mind danced around two words: He’s cute. He tried to catch himself, stop the thought before it happened, but there it was. Burrowing its way into his mind. 

And as the notion took root, it pulled other thoughts from where Husk had buried them. A whole bunch of feelings came flooding back; the feeling of caring too much for someone on the battle field, the remorse that came with having to leave them behind, the shame of not being able to protect them. Husk’s face fell from a cocky grin to a grimace. He turned to head out the door. 

Seeing the shift in Husker’s demeanor, Angel grabbed the cocaine (including the one in the hands of the body slumped on the ground) and chased after his partner. 

They walked the few blocks to the hotel in silence, but this time it was awkward...stiff. Angel wasn’t sure what to say. He hadn’t seen Husk like this before, like there was something heavy just past the surface of his standoffish attitude. Like Angel could almost reach out and touch his pain. 

Once back at the hotel, the cat demon beelined it straight for the bar. He grabbed a bottle without a word and took a big swig. 

Angel followed. He plopped the bricks of coke on the counter and sat on his favorite bar stool, watching the older man with a twinge of concern. “Husky, ya good?” he tried to keep his normal lilt in his voice. They had walls for a reason and being too sympathetic would probably make Husk pissed. 

“I’m fuckin fine.” a terse reply came, but his face was turned away and his shoulders were shaking. He wasn’t fine. 

Angel Dust was good with people; it was his job to give them what they wanted, even when they weren’t able to fully articulate it. He analyzed Husker with a gentle yet curious eye, a little annoyed at the snubbing but understanding of it. It looked like Husk really wanted to talk but it would probably be like pulling teeth to try to get him to open up, even if Angel...cared. But he decided to play it safe and give the cat demon some space. 

“Mmkay, I’ll leave ya alone then.” the spider stood to make his way upstairs but was stopped by a soft, gruff voice coming from Husk. 

“Nah, kid, you can stay.” 

Angel Dust was surprised by Husk’s sincerity, but knew that the old man wouldn’t toss it out so easily. He was building a bridge for them to meet in the middle, giving another inch, because he...trusted Angel maybe? It was hard to say, but either way Angel could respect that struggle between reaching out and keeping up an emotional barricade. 

Joining Husk behind the bar, Angel grabbed his own bottle. They sat on the ground next to each other, backs to the wall, not making eye contact. Husk took a few more sips of booze, trying to decide if he was going to explain or not. He could practically hear all the questions running through Angel’s mind. 

“I was too sober.” He finally managed, after several minutes of quiet drinking. 

The spider opened his mouth to say something but Husk continued, “I get it, y’know. Chasing the fuckin’ high to run away from something else. Another hit, another sip, another orgasm, another bet. I know…I fuckin know how it can control you. I get _needing_ it to control you when it feels like there’s nothin’ goddamn else left to hold you down.” 

Angel listened, making space for Husk’s words. It was the least he could do after the sourpuss listened to all of his bullshit night after night. Plus...he wanted to know. He wanted to understand Husk better. 

“Fuck, I...I wish I was done with all this bullshit. It would be so fuckin’ easy to just give up, let one mistake happen. But I ain’t about to get double dead.... too much ego and cowardice for that. I wish I could run, disappear.” 

“Yeah...” Angel took a drink, feeling that same yearning to run pull at his heart strings. 

“Back in ‘nam, in the trenches, we would hide under our platoon mate’s bodies to keep from getting captured or killed. Had to use a lot of good men as fuckin’ shields, then leave them behind.” Husk was reaching into a box of memories long suppressed, blowing off the dust. He hoped sharing that little bit with Angel would give him the context for his shutting-down. But just that little bit was almost too much to bear so he shifted topics. “Wish I could do some shit like that with Al. Smear some blood on my face, hold my breath and then be free to pursue.... somethin’? Maybe this redemption bullshit Princess keeps yappin’ about? I don’t fuckin’ know,” Husk nursed his bottle again, then nudged Angel’s knee with the back of his hand, tossing the conversation baton to him. “You believe in redemption, kid?” 

The casual contact was a bombshell that Husk dropped on Angel. Husker had never initiated physical contact between them before, let alone something that familiar. It was such a quick, run-of-the-mill gesture but it sent Angel’s heart thrumming in his chest. He pushed the heart palpatations to the back of his mind, and pondered Husk’s question to distract himself. 

“I wanna,” he replied, voice brimming with a hesitant honesty. “But it’s fuckin’ complicated. Don’t really feel like I deserve redemption, even if I wanna believe in it.” 

Husk nodded in understanding. “Yeah, me fuckin’ too. But I feel like wantin’ to be redeemed doesn’t mean we fuckin’ can be...” 

“Yeah...” Angel sighed, a resignation in his voice. They sat in silence again, ruminating on what salvation may or may not mean for them. Then the spider spoke up again, a genuine question coming to his mind. “I think ya figured out why I’m stuck wit’ Val but...can I ask why yer stuck wit’ Alastor?” 

Husk chuckled dryly and gulped down some more brandy. He knew it’d come up eventually, so he figured he might as well share now while he was still willing to. 

“Sold my soul for luck. I wanted to win card games, love, money. And, god dammit, I did. Fuckin’ shit, I even survived a war. But look at me now...I feel like the least lucky bastard in all of Hell.” he slumped his shoulders, like his demonic wings were weighing him down. 

At that admission, Angel turned to look at Husk’s face. He gave him a soft smirk, hoping it was coming across as comforting and not creepy. 

“Hey, don’t say that, ya old bastard,” He returned the knee nudge. “At least ya got me.” 

Husk huffed a disbelieving laugh and looked up at Angel, coming face to face for the first time since the conversation started. 

And Angel saw a fear…a vulnerability in Husk's face he hadn't seen before. He saw that human desire to live battling with the exhaustion piled on his shoulders from a life - and after-life - that was taking so much effort. His black and white face was full of sorrow, hope and a... gratefulness. He was thankful that Angel was there, thankful that he stayed. 

Angel Dust was taken aback by the expression. He felt like he needed to reach out and touch the face before him to see if it was real. A gloved hand extended up to Husk’s cheek, fingers brushing against soft fur. Husk didn’t jerk away but he didn’t lean into it either. A beat of...some connection between them... and then they were suddenly ripped from the moment as Angel’s phone pinged loudly. 

They both knew it was from Val, even before Angel pulled his hand away to grab his cell and read the message. 

The spider grit his teeth in an angry smirk, hissing a laugh, and pressed the back of his head to the wall, looking up. 

“It’s like this fucka always knows when I’m doin’ somethin’ important.” Angel stood and looked down at Husker, eyes softening again. He felt something stir deep inside him “I’ll catch ya later Husky? Maybe ya can join me on my next job or somethin’?” 

Giving a nod, Husk’s hard expression and reluctant tone returned. “Yeah, sure. Whatever ya need, kid.” 

With another look of empathy? Pity? Compassion? (Husk wasn’t sure which), Angel left the cat demon on his own at the bar. He watched him go, the thought from the drug deal jumping into his head again. 

_He’s cute._

His own phone buzzed, a thankful interruption to his thoughts. There, in simple text, was a very rare message from Alastor. 

“Keep watching out for him.” 

\---------------------------------------- 

Angel and Husk snuck back into the hotel as quietly as they could. The tension between them was palpable; you could practically cut it with a knife. Once the door shut behind them, Angel whipped his head around to look Husk right in the face. 

“What the actual fuck was that!? Valentino is gonna fuckin’ kill me!” Angel whisper-shouted in the lobby, almost spitting the words at the cat demon. 

“Listen, kid, I was just trying to protect you. Keep you safe, y’know?” Husk was even aloof in his defensiveness. 

It had been another night of being called to do dirty work. Another night of navigating through tense discussions that could easily shift to a field of bullets and blood spray with one wrong move. Another night of tender glances and genuine smiles they tried to hide from one another amidst the chaos of turf wars and drug deals. 

They had fallen into a routine over 2 months time and, between more moments together of talking at the hotel bar, sharing little bits of themselves in hopes they could get closer, they used a texted code to let the other know that shit might hit the fan on the streets. Sometimes Angel helped Husk, sometimes Husk helped Angel. In both cases, their synergy and support for one another was definitely notable. 

There was a trust between them they respectfully acknowledged in public, layered between an unspoken care- a friendship? No…it was definitely more than that now- that made rushing into violence a little more complicated, a little harder each time. And this time? This time ended in disaster. 

A drug deal gone extra sour had left Angel's back to the wall mid-negotiation. Husk made a judgement call to take out a few of the gang members to get to Angel. He grabbed him, flying them out of there before the spider could finish talking his way out of the situation, leaving a good portion of the money behind. 

“Bullshit! I had the whole thing under control. You just came in, fuckin claws out, actin’ like ya knew betta than me! I can fuckin’ take care of myself! You’ve had my back a dozen fuckin’ times before, why are ya acting like I’m some fuckin idiot **_now_ **?” 

Husk looked away, his eyes cast to the ground. He felt….shame. Fear. So much fear... after that night, month’s ago, he swore to himself that he wouldn't ever leave Angel behind like he had other’s in the past. That shame and fear sprouted from a feeling he didn’t want to acknowledge. It had been there for a while – before he even noticed it, Angel’s cuteness had shifted to beauty - but he couldn’t bother Angel with his stupid emotions, didn’t even know what he’d say if he did. So instead he focused on the fear. Fear was easy. He could blame it all on the fear. 

“It’s not that, kid. I just-” 

“Stoppit! Stop callin’ me a fuckin’ ‘kid’.” there was a look of pleading exhaustion in Angel’s eyes as Husker glanced up at his face again. “I thought ya were fuckin’ different. Everyone else has always seen me as a piece of ass or some helpless child that needs savin’-that can’t do shit on his own. I thought ya believed I could handle this...” 

Angel trailed off, his feelings seemed almost too big for words. Too complex and layered to verbalize them. Anger and betrayal twisted his face but his voice was shaking from something un-named. Something he didn’t want to name, afraid it would hurt too much to do so. He walked to the bar and sat in his regular spot, hoping that the routine would snap him out of wherever his brain was taking him. 

“Angel...” Husk sighed as he followed the spider to the bar. He said the name like he was afraid it was going to ruin some delicate balance, like it would shift the ground beneath his feet. But Hell hadn’t frozen over as the name passed his lips, so he decided to say it again. “Angel, I fucked up. I was trying to help; I swear to fuck I was. I know you can handle your own shit.” Angel softened a bit at the words, hearing his name in Husk’s voice, wanting so desperately to believe the things he was saying. Husk continued. “But things were going south real fast. And Al told me to keep you safe.” the admission slipped from his lips and Angel flinched. 

“So that's what this's been this whole time? An order from Al? Keepin’ me safe because deer daddy told ya to? I should’ve fuckin’ known! God, I AM a fuckin idiot, ain't I?” Angel’s voice dripped with chagrin. He felt a crushing in the center of his chest, the feeling of being heartbroken before you had even admitted you’d fallen. He really should have known better. All this time was a lie, of course it was! Of course, Husk didn't actually care. Why did he let himself believe there was more between them? A couple smiles, a few nights of drinking and laughing, a few hand-bumps here and there, slowly peeling his mask away- none of that actually meant anything! The wind was knocked out of his fluffy pink chest. His mask was slipping but this time against his will “I can't fuckin' do this.” He covered his face and turned to walk away. 

“Fuckin’ wait!” Husk grabbed one of Angel’s hands to keep him from taking another step. And he stopped. All it took was one touch, one gesture, from this stubborn old man and Angel was ready to hope again. God, he was weak. Tears burned at his eyes but he refused to let a single one fall. Not now. Not in front of him. “Angel, listen to me dammit. It was never about what Al told me to fuckin’ do. I was always gonna be there for you. I'm just lucky-heh" he paused to snort at the irony. “I'm just lucky he told me to keep doing what I was already fuckin’ doing.” 

“That's bullshit, Husk.” Angel's voice was a forced harshness but there was a wavering behind it, like forcing himself to be angry would protect his heart. 

A sigh….it was almost longing…but that couldn't be true, could it? “Fuck, Ange, it really isn't" the use of the nickname sent a pang straight to the spider’s heart. Angel, full of fear and hesitance, reached out and took a single brick off the barricade he had built around himself. He had to know. 

“Prove it then.” Angel demanded to the ground. His tone was loaded, almost like he was offering his entire being to Husk instead of challenging him. 

And suddenly he was whipped around and looking Husker right in the face. A face of need, of yearning, of genuine care. “Fine, I will.” 

Before he even knew what was happening, their lips met, crashing together with a ferocious tenderness. Husk had pulled Angel in and, with that, the dams broke. So much repressed desire poured from both of them as cat claws threaded through pink hair and four arms pulled their forms closer until their chests were glued together. 

After that, words were few. Just names gasped between kisses, grunts as they walked backwards towards the couch. Tongues touched as they kissed deeper. They ripped off clothes with the same passion they ripped down the walls that had kept them apart. Moans turned to pleads as hands explored soft flesh and fur. 

More touches, further down. Angel guided Husker's paws where he wanted and then went to mirror the touches on the cat demon's body. 

“This okay?” a soft, almost scared whisper came from Angel’s lips as heterochromatic eyes met yellow ones. Husk nodded his consent to Angel and the nervousness behind touches disappeared. Strokes and caresses were no longer hesitant, need overpowering them both. 

Husk held Angel first, like he knew what the younger demon had desperately wanted. He was relentlessly gentle and it sliced right through Angel's doubts. He was beautiful, his face was full of pleasure from the feeling of being exposed- seen in a way he hadn't been in a very, very long time. Hot afterglow touches quickly turned into another embrace, but this time Angel took Husk. Shedding his stubborn exterior, Husker shivered in his vehemence, in hopes that sharing that side of himself would show Angel how serious he was about this, how real it was. 

A well of feelings neither wanted put words to was overflowing between them and, while it was almost overwhelming, they knew it didn't need to be labeled in this moment. What mattered was that they were equals, the same. Angel found a joy in the parallels between them, Husk found a comfort. It helped both of them feel understood, less alone. 

There they were, locked in an embrace; two men with wounded hearts who had finally let themselves want each other, no matter how much they had each tried to ignore it. Two people, two demons who had found a connection in the trenches of these small battles they both fought every day. 

For tonight, though, they could pretend those battles didn't exist. They could pretend there were no vices, no overlords, no complications of redemption. Just finding solace in another soft body and the deeper feelings within it. Acting on the yearning that had been present between them for Satan knows how long. And letting themselves hope that maybe, just maybe, there would be more kisses, more touches, more embraces -and a chance to title this unnamed thing between them-in the morning. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my lovely friends for their support! This fic was the longest I've ever written and took a while for me to work on!  
> Special thanks to Danni and Tori for giving me notes <3 Y'all rule!


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